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Do You Understand Your Loved One’s Advance Directive?

Source https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/understand-your-loved-ones-advance-directive/

If a parent or senior loved one appointed you in an advance directive to make his or her medical decisions, would you know what to do? In a medical crisis, even straightforward instructions may seem ambiguous when you’re the one responsible for life-and-death decisions.Do You Understand Your Loved One’s Advance Directive?

“When someone is being admitted to the hospital, that’s not the time to ask questions about pull-the-plug decisions,” says Kyle Krull, an estate planning attorney in Overland Park, Kansas. “It’s important to find out in advance what that person would want or not want under a variety of scenarios… When it comes to making life-or-death decisions for someone else, clarity is critical.”

The Types of Advance Directives

Just when you think your 80-year-old mother, who struggles with congestive heart failure, is doing well, your cell phone rings on an otherwise typical morning. Mom had a massive stroke at breakfast, a nurse at her assisted living community tells you. “She’s at the emergency room.”

When you arrive at the hospital, you learn that your mother went into cardiac arrest. If her heart stops again, should doctors try to restart it to save her life? Her attending physician wants to know. What do you say?

Advance directives allow a person to provide consent for an appointed agent to continue, withdraw or withhold certain medical treatments should that person become incapacitated and unable to make his or her own health care decisions.

“There are many different roads with advance directives, but they all lead to the same result, which is having control over your own health care decisions when you don’t even know what’s going on,” says Krull.

Types of advance directives vary according to state law, but here are the two most common:

1. Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare

The durable power of attorney for health care is also known as the health care power of attorney,  health care proxy or medical power of attorney.

The durable power of attorney for healthcare is a legal document that allows a person named as the agent or proxy to make medical decisions for another person, known as the principal, based on that person’s instructions, if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to make his or her own decisions.

2. Living Will

A living will is a legal document intended to guide health care decisions for a person who is no longer able to make his or her own choices. While state laws vary, a living will is similar to, but much more limited than, a durable power of attorney for health care, because a living will may be used only if the person also has a terminal illness or permanent unconsciousness, also known as a persistent vegetative state.

Another type of advance directive is the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. A DNR order stops medical staff from restarting a person’s heart or other life-sustaining measures such as breathing machines. A DNR, sometimes called an “Allow Natural Death” order, is only valid while a patient is in a hospital.

However, in some states, a person can get a Do Not Attempt Resuscitation (DNAR) or special DNR order that applies outside the hospital. The non-hospital DNAR and DNR are instructions for emergency medical teams such as paramedics or others that may answer 911 calls.

The best approach is to have at least two documents, a health care power of attorney naming a trusted person to enforce the wishes of your loved one when he or she is unable to make health care decisions and a living will.

These two functions can even be combined into a single document such as Five Wishes, a form that addresses emotional, personal and spiritual needs along with medical wishes and burial or cremation preferences.

The Five Wishes document is legally enforceable in most states. If the state where your loved one resides doesn’t recognize this form, that person can still complete the form to guide family members with future medical decisions.

Why Communication With Your Loved One Is Key

Just because you have copies of your parents’ advance directives doesn’t mean you’ll understand what they want for every possible scenario. If you’re the agent named to make medical decisions for a senior loved one, it’s crucial for your loved one to communicate personal preferences with other family members.

“Everyone in the immediate family orbit needs to know what a parent’s wishes are,” says Krull. In some states, the person appointed to make medical decisions also has the right of sepulcher, which is the authority to choose burial, cremation or other final disposition of the principal’s body.

“If you want to see World War III break out, just watch a group of grieving siblings try to decide whether to bury or cremate their parent when no prior guidance has been provided…” says Krull.

When you discuss your loved one’s advance directive, find out as much as you can about what he or she would want in various situations.

Questions to ask include:

  1. Do you want to be buried, cremated or use some method of body donation? Do you want to donate organs or tissues?
  2. Do you want to receive fluid intravenously (IV) or nutrition with a feeding tube if you can’t drink or eat on your own? If you will never again be able to drink or eat on your own, at what point do you want to stop intubation?
  3. How do you feel about the use of equipment if your kidneys or other organs shut down or you can’t breathe on your own and the condition could be long-term?
  4. If your breathing or heart stops, do you want paddles or CPR used to bring those functions back?
  5. What if you have a serious illness like Alzheimer’s, cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), congestive heart failure, kidney disease or Parkinson’s? Would you want palliative care to help relieve pain and keep you comfortable?

There is no way to know what someone might want in every possible situation, but a frank discussion now with your parent or senior loved one can reveal information that could help you with weighty health care decisions later.

“Just like the three rules of real estate are location, location, location, the three keys to successfully advocating the health care wishes of your loved one are communication, communication, communication, starting on the day you are first appointed to carry out those future wishes,” says Krull.

Has a parent or senior loved one appointed you in an advance directive? We’d like to hear your stories in the comments below.

Related Articles:

Source https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/understand-your-loved-ones-advance-directive/

If a parent or senior loved one appointed you in an advance directive to make his or her medical decisions, would you know what to do? In a medical crisis, even straightforward instructions may seem ambiguous when you’re the one responsible for life-and-death decisions.Do You Understand Your Loved One’s Advance Directive?

“When someone is being admitted to the hospital, that’s not the time to ask questions about pull-the-plug decisions,” says Kyle Krull, an estate planning attorney in Overland Park, Kansas. “It’s important to find out in advance what that person would want or not want under a variety of scenarios… When it comes to making life-or-death decisions for someone else, clarity is critical.”

The Types of Advance Directives

Just when you think your 80-year-old mother, who struggles with congestive heart failure, is doing well, your cell phone rings on an otherwise typical morning. Mom had a massive stroke at breakfast, a nurse at her assisted living community tells you. “She’s at the emergency room.”

When you arrive at the hospital, you learn that your mother went into cardiac arrest. If her heart stops again, should doctors try to restart it to save her life? Her attending physician wants to know. What do you say?

Advance directives allow a person to provide consent for an appointed agent to continue, withdraw or withhold certain medical treatments should that person become incapacitated and unable to make his or her own health care decisions.

“There are many different roads with advance directives, but they all lead to the same result, which is having control over your own health care decisions when you don’t even know what’s going on,” says Krull.

Types of advance directives vary according to state law, but here are the two most common:

1. Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare

The durable power of attorney for health care is also known as the health care power of attorney,  health care proxy or medical power of attorney.

The durable power of attorney for healthcare is a legal document that allows a person named as the agent or proxy to make medical decisions for another person, known as the principal, based on that person’s instructions, if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to make his or her own decisions.

2. Living Will

A living will is a legal document intended to guide health care decisions for a person who is no longer able to make his or her own choices. While state laws vary, a living will is similar to, but much more limited than, a durable power of attorney for health care, because a living will may be used only if the person also has a terminal illness or permanent unconsciousness, also known as a persistent vegetative state.

Another type of advance directive is the Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. A DNR order stops medical staff from restarting a person’s heart or other life-sustaining measures such as breathing machines. A DNR, sometimes called an “Allow Natural Death” order, is only valid while a patient is in a hospital.

However, in some states, a person can get a Do Not Attempt Resuscitation (DNAR) or special DNR order that applies outside the hospital. The non-hospital DNAR and DNR are instructions for emergency medical teams such as paramedics or others that may answer 911 calls.

The best approach is to have at least two documents, a health care power of attorney naming a trusted person to enforce the wishes of your loved one when he or she is unable to make health care decisions and a living will.

These two functions can even be combined into a single document such as Five Wishes, a form that addresses emotional, personal and spiritual needs along with medical wishes and burial or cremation preferences.

The Five Wishes document is legally enforceable in most states. If the state where your loved one resides doesn’t recognize this form, that person can still complete the form to guide family members with future medical decisions.

Why Communication With Your Loved One Is Key

Just because you have copies of your parents’ advance directives doesn’t mean you’ll understand what they want for every possible scenario. If you’re the agent named to make medical decisions for a senior loved one, it’s crucial for your loved one to communicate personal preferences with other family members.

“Everyone in the immediate family orbit needs to know what a parent’s wishes are,” says Krull. In some states, the person appointed to make medical decisions also has the right of sepulcher, which is the authority to choose burial, cremation or other final disposition of the principal’s body.

“If you want to see World War III break out, just watch a group of grieving siblings try to decide whether to bury or cremate their parent when no prior guidance has been provided…” says Krull.

When you discuss your loved one’s advance directive, find out as much as you can about what he or she would want in various situations.

Questions to ask include:

  1. Do you want to be buried, cremated or use some method of body donation? Do you want to donate organs or tissues?
  2. Do you want to receive fluid intravenously (IV) or nutrition with a feeding tube if you can’t drink or eat on your own? If you will never again be able to drink or eat on your own, at what point do you want to stop intubation?
  3. How do you feel about the use of equipment if your kidneys or other organs shut down or you can’t breathe on your own and the condition could be long-term?
  4. If your breathing or heart stops, do you want paddles or CPR used to bring those functions back?
  5. What if you have a serious illness like Alzheimer’s, cancer, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), congestive heart failure, kidney disease or Parkinson’s? Would you want palliative care to help relieve pain and keep you comfortable?

There is no way to know what someone might want in every possible situation, but a frank discussion now with your parent or senior loved one can reveal information that could help you with weighty health care decisions later.

“Just like the three rules of real estate are location, location, location, the three keys to successfully advocating the health care wishes of your loved one are communication, communication, communication, starting on the day you are first appointed to carry out those future wishes,” says Krull.

Has a parent or senior loved one appointed you in an advance directive? We’d like to hear your stories in the comments below.

Related Articles:

How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want

Source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/LJV6_qB-mGc/

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

People-pleasers regularly subvert their own needs for the needs of others. We spend years saying “yes” when we mean “no,” signing up for commitments we’d rather avoid, and occupying our minds with others’ desires.

When we finally clear out the clutter to put ourselves first, we look around at the empty space, bewildered, with endless questions. What do we want? What does true happiness look like for us? What would a life lived on our own terms be like?

For me, these questions once provoked anxiety. I’d spent a lifetime catering to my parents, friends, colleagues, and lovers—anyone but myself. By asking what I really wanted, I was looking my fear straight in the eye: my fear of being responsible for my own happiness. My fear of not getting what I wish for.

These fears are both potent and entirely surmountable—if we’re brave enough to connect with our innermost desires.

When we’re strongly connected to our dreams and desires, we begin to set boundaries with other people so we can reach them, and we slowly start finding the confidence to speak our truth. Our dreams and desires remind us how communicating authentically will change our lives, and the lives of our loved ones, for the better.

For this reason, we recovering people-pleasers need to reclaim our familiarity with our inner voice and innermost needs. We cannot communicate authentically with others if we can’t communicate authentically with our inner selves.

In my journey to overcome people pleasing, I’ve learned a few helpful tricks to connect with my innermost self and uncover what I really want in all areas of my life. Perhaps one (or more) of these methods may help you do the same.

1. Label your feelings.

As I mention in my post on setting boundaries, many of us have become so attuned to the feelings of others that our own feelings are elusive strangers, entirely unrecognizable to us.

Our feelings are critical guideposts as we learn to prioritize our own needs—if we’re able to identify and own them. We can rebuild our connection to our feelings by noticing their presence in our bodies and hearts.

First, we must learn to give ourselves permission to be excited, inspired, and desirous. I often notice these feelings when they appear as fluttering in my chest or tingling down my spine. These feelings signal that I’m moving toward something that excites me.

If, like me, you’ve spent a lifetime motivated by guilt and anxiety, your positive emotions can starkly illuminate the activities and relationships that bring you pure joy.

We can also learn from feelings that are challenging or unpleasant, once we’re able to identify them. Instead of glossing over anxiety, overwhelm, and anger, we can notice these feelings as pits in our stomachs, pressure in our chests, and tightness in our throats. Those feelings might be signals that something isn’t right for us, or that we need to set boundaries with others.

2. Leave the system.

Sometimes our deepest desires are buried under layers of fear, particularly the fear of seeming selfish or the fear of disappointing others. One way to dig beneath the fear is to mentally remove ourselves from the systems of which we’re a part.

Begin by considering one of your social systems: your romantic relationship, your workplace, your church, your family. Then, ask yourself: “What would I do differently if I weren’t a part of this system?”

Previously unacknowledged desires emerge when you extricate yourself from the pressures and influences of your system.

Years ago, when I first did this exercise, I wrote in my journal, “What would I do differently if I weren’t in a relationship with my partner?” I was amazed as my hand flew across the page, scribbling: “Sign up for a dance class! Go out with friends more! Sleep in on Sundays!”

My answers helped me realize that I was suffocating my own desires out of fear of my partner’s reactions. What I really wanted was right there on the page. Having this list enabled me to consider how I might carve out more space for my own desires within my relationship.

3. Make a wish.

The first time I saw a life coach, she began our session with the simplest of questions: “If you were granted three wishes, what would you wish for?”

At first I thought her question was contrived, but when I answered, two of my responses were illuminating: I wished for a healthier relationship with my family, and I wished to become fully self-employed in the career of my dreams.

Then she looked me in the eye: “You want these two things very much?”

I nodded.

“More than anything else in the world?”

I nodded again.

She grinned. “Then what have you been waiting for?”

I was speechless. I’d never given myself permission to suspend reality, if only for a moment, to dream big. Making a wish allowed me to dive into my dreams without stopping myself with “What if?”s  “How?”s and “I could never do that.” Once I spoke my desires aloud, I could no longer ignore their truth. I begin strategizing how to get there.

Practice suspending reality to discover what you crave. Imagine that you could make a wish that would be instantly granted, or imagine that you could walk through a door and your ideal life waited on the other side. What do you notice about these dreams? What desires do they demonstrate?

4. Weave a web of impact.

One of people-pleasers’ greatest challenges is the fear of being perceived as selfish or uncaring. I know this was true for me. Many of us believe that our worth comes from meeting others’ needs. Sometimes we forget that speaking our truth positively impacts other people.

Take a moment to ask yourself the question: “If I spoke my truth and set firm boundaries, who else would benefit, and how?” Consider your partner, your friends, your colleagues, your children, passersby on the street. Consider who you might serve as a role model. Who might benefit from witnessing your strength and independence?

You will quickly realize that speaking your truth has far-reaching benefits. Keep your list visible to remind yourself of the web of impact your new habits will have.

5. Start small.

If you’ve been in a habit of people-pleasing for a long time, it may be challenging to immediately identify your own big dreams. You may feel that you truly don’t know what you want right now, and that is totally normal. Living your truth and communicating authentically are muscles; when you exercise them regularly, they become stronger over time.

Give yourself permission to start small. For example, you might not yet know what you want out of your career, but you do know you love strolling around the lake in the morning and winding down your nights with chamomile tea. You may not yet know which city you want to relocate to, but you do know you’d like to take a mid-afternoon power nap and buy thermal socks.

These wants are sacred whispers from your innermost self. Give your innermost self time to surface. By pursuing these small desires, you learn to trust yourself. You begin to realize that you are fully capable of being your own advocate and building the life you want.

Pay special attention to how it feels to meet your needs. Be patient. With the passage of time, bigger dreams make themselves known in your heart.

Authentic communication is a two-way street; we must speak truthfully to ourselves before we can speak truthfully to others. Once we become familiar with what we really want, we can imagine a world where we replace old habits, like people-pleasing, with new visions for a brighter future.

About Hailey Magee

Hailey Magee is a certified authentic communication coach who helps women set clear boundaries and speak their truth in relationship. She envisions a world where women feel empowered to dream big, speak boldly, and live radiantly. She is now accepting new clients. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and visit her website, www.haileymagee.com.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

Source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/LJV6_qB-mGc/

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

People-pleasers regularly subvert their own needs for the needs of others. We spend years saying “yes” when we mean “no,” signing up for commitments we’d rather avoid, and occupying our minds with others’ desires.

When we finally clear out the clutter to put ourselves first, we look around at the empty space, bewildered, with endless questions. What do we want? What does true happiness look like for us? What would a life lived on our own terms be like?

For me, these questions once provoked anxiety. I’d spent a lifetime catering to my parents, friends, colleagues, and lovers—anyone but myself. By asking what I really wanted, I was looking my fear straight in the eye: my fear of being responsible for my own happiness. My fear of not getting what I wish for.

These fears are both potent and entirely surmountable—if we’re brave enough to connect with our innermost desires.

When we’re strongly connected to our dreams and desires, we begin to set boundaries with other people so we can reach them, and we slowly start finding the confidence to speak our truth. Our dreams and desires remind us how communicating authentically will change our lives, and the lives of our loved ones, for the better.

For this reason, we recovering people-pleasers need to reclaim our familiarity with our inner voice and innermost needs. We cannot communicate authentically with others if we can’t communicate authentically with our inner selves.

In my journey to overcome people pleasing, I’ve learned a few helpful tricks to connect with my innermost self and uncover what I really want in all areas of my life. Perhaps one (or more) of these methods may help you do the same.

1. Label your feelings.

As I mention in my post on setting boundaries, many of us have become so attuned to the feelings of others that our own feelings are elusive strangers, entirely unrecognizable to us.

Our feelings are critical guideposts as we learn to prioritize our own needs—if we’re able to identify and own them. We can rebuild our connection to our feelings by noticing their presence in our bodies and hearts.

First, we must learn to give ourselves permission to be excited, inspired, and desirous. I often notice these feelings when they appear as fluttering in my chest or tingling down my spine. These feelings signal that I’m moving toward something that excites me.

If, like me, you’ve spent a lifetime motivated by guilt and anxiety, your positive emotions can starkly illuminate the activities and relationships that bring you pure joy.

We can also learn from feelings that are challenging or unpleasant, once we’re able to identify them. Instead of glossing over anxiety, overwhelm, and anger, we can notice these feelings as pits in our stomachs, pressure in our chests, and tightness in our throats. Those feelings might be signals that something isn’t right for us, or that we need to set boundaries with others.

2. Leave the system.

Sometimes our deepest desires are buried under layers of fear, particularly the fear of seeming selfish or the fear of disappointing others. One way to dig beneath the fear is to mentally remove ourselves from the systems of which we’re a part.

Begin by considering one of your social systems: your romantic relationship, your workplace, your church, your family. Then, ask yourself: “What would I do differently if I weren’t a part of this system?”

Previously unacknowledged desires emerge when you extricate yourself from the pressures and influences of your system.

Years ago, when I first did this exercise, I wrote in my journal, “What would I do differently if I weren’t in a relationship with my partner?” I was amazed as my hand flew across the page, scribbling: “Sign up for a dance class! Go out with friends more! Sleep in on Sundays!”

My answers helped me realize that I was suffocating my own desires out of fear of my partner’s reactions. What I really wanted was right there on the page. Having this list enabled me to consider how I might carve out more space for my own desires within my relationship.

3. Make a wish.

The first time I saw a life coach, she began our session with the simplest of questions: “If you were granted three wishes, what would you wish for?”

At first I thought her question was contrived, but when I answered, two of my responses were illuminating: I wished for a healthier relationship with my family, and I wished to become fully self-employed in the career of my dreams.

Then she looked me in the eye: “You want these two things very much?”

I nodded.

“More than anything else in the world?”

I nodded again.

She grinned. “Then what have you been waiting for?”

I was speechless. I’d never given myself permission to suspend reality, if only for a moment, to dream big. Making a wish allowed me to dive into my dreams without stopping myself with “What if?”s  “How?”s and “I could never do that.” Once I spoke my desires aloud, I could no longer ignore their truth. I begin strategizing how to get there.

Practice suspending reality to discover what you crave. Imagine that you could make a wish that would be instantly granted, or imagine that you could walk through a door and your ideal life waited on the other side. What do you notice about these dreams? What desires do they demonstrate?

4. Weave a web of impact.

One of people-pleasers’ greatest challenges is the fear of being perceived as selfish or uncaring. I know this was true for me. Many of us believe that our worth comes from meeting others’ needs. Sometimes we forget that speaking our truth positively impacts other people.

Take a moment to ask yourself the question: “If I spoke my truth and set firm boundaries, who else would benefit, and how?” Consider your partner, your friends, your colleagues, your children, passersby on the street. Consider who you might serve as a role model. Who might benefit from witnessing your strength and independence?

You will quickly realize that speaking your truth has far-reaching benefits. Keep your list visible to remind yourself of the web of impact your new habits will have.

5. Start small.

If you’ve been in a habit of people-pleasing for a long time, it may be challenging to immediately identify your own big dreams. You may feel that you truly don’t know what you want right now, and that is totally normal. Living your truth and communicating authentically are muscles; when you exercise them regularly, they become stronger over time.

Give yourself permission to start small. For example, you might not yet know what you want out of your career, but you do know you love strolling around the lake in the morning and winding down your nights with chamomile tea. You may not yet know which city you want to relocate to, but you do know you’d like to take a mid-afternoon power nap and buy thermal socks.

These wants are sacred whispers from your innermost self. Give your innermost self time to surface. By pursuing these small desires, you learn to trust yourself. You begin to realize that you are fully capable of being your own advocate and building the life you want.

Pay special attention to how it feels to meet your needs. Be patient. With the passage of time, bigger dreams make themselves known in your heart.

Authentic communication is a two-way street; we must speak truthfully to ourselves before we can speak truthfully to others. Once we become familiar with what we really want, we can imagine a world where we replace old habits, like people-pleasing, with new visions for a brighter future.

About Hailey Magee

Hailey Magee is a certified authentic communication coach who helps women set clear boundaries and speak their truth in relationship. She envisions a world where women feel empowered to dream big, speak boldly, and live radiantly. She is now accepting new clients. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and visit her website, www.haileymagee.com.

Get in the conversation! Click here to leave a comment on the site.

The post How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want appeared first on Tiny Buddha.

Midlife Inflammation Tied to Steeper Memory Decline

Source: https://womensbrainhealth.org/think-outside-the-box/midlife-inflammation-tied-to-steeper-memory-decline

by Judy George for MedPage Today: Midlife systemic inflammation was tied to steeper late-life cognitive decline, an analysis of data from the ARIC prospective cohort showed. Adults with elevated inflammation composite scores or elevated C-reactive protein (CRP) levels during midlife……

Source: https://womensbrainhealth.org/think-outside-the-box/midlife-inflammation-tied-to-steeper-memory-decline

by Judy George for MedPage Today: Midlife systemic inflammation was tied to steeper late-life cognitive decline, an analysis of data from the ARIC prospective cohort showed. Adults with elevated inflammation composite scores or elevated C-reactive protein (CRP) levels during midlife……

To All the Judgmental Jerks at the Gym (Including Me)

Source https://greatist.com/live/judging-other-people-workout?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=feed_https–greatistcom–

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Slim Chance


Slim Chance
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Weight: 218 pounds

Weight Lost in 2 Weeks: 1 pound

Total Lost: 35 pounds

Any time I go into a gym or a new exercise class, I’m nervous: Will I be able to do the workout? Are people looking at me because I’m fat? Are they looking at me while I’m unable to do the workout? Why am I sweating so much? Can they see that I’m sweating? Seriously, it seems medically impossible that I produce this much sweat. All of that and a litany of other low self-esteem thoughts cross my mind before my workout is done.

I used to think that all of these other judgmental people in the gym were the problem. But that’s not the case.

I Will Beat That Skinny Bitch

About six years ago, I took tough boot camp classes 4-5 times a week. Though I was about 30 pounds lighter than I am today, I was not in great shape and was always one of the biggest girls in the class. But I worked hard and felt happy every time I got through the hour without nearly passing out and praying for death.

After attending this class for about six months, the gym had a big open house, so a bunch of new people showed up to get their butts kicked on a Saturday morning. And one girl immediately became my enemy.

This tiny, beautiful redhead waltzed into class without a care in the world. She tugged at her adorable knee-high socks and perfectly plaited braids as she began her personal warm-up in the middle of the room. To me, her warm-up seemed to serve two purposes: prepare her muscles for exercise and constantly draw attention to how much cuter she was than everyone else. Each hamstring stretch cried out, “Why, yes, I look this good. How do I do it?” She seemed completely at ease. And that infuriated me.

“I will beat you, Little Red,” I vowed. “Even if I have to die during this workout, I will destroy you.”

To be clear, there was no competition. It wasn’t like Flywheel, where everyone kept score, and the winning name came up in lights for everyone to see. There were no points. There was certainly no “winner.” But in my mind, this 105-pound 25-year-old thought she could breeze through this workout, while my 190-pound body would suffer. I wanted to prove that I could do every push-up, battle rope, and jump squat right along with her. Of course, this person never said anything to me and probably didn’t even know I was there. But I was set: I would beat this skinny bitch.

As we began, Little Red seemed confident, but it didn’t last. We did burpees into jumping jacks into high knees then back into burpees. Then came the deadlifts and wall sits and sprints across the floor. And slowly but surely, all of Red’s cocky confidence slipped away. She was sweating. She was having a hard time. And my fat self was gliding through. Okay, maybe not gliding—I was suffering just as much as anyone—but I did it with a smile, thrilled by the fact that I could keep up with the tiny newcomer.

By the end of the class, Red slumped to the floor. Class had clearly been harder than she’d expected, and she was happy to be done. And me? Sure, I was covered in sweat, my face was the color of a cooked lobster, and I had to do the push-ups on my knees. But I was victorious.

Little Red came back the next week, looking like a woman heading into battle—she knew it was going to be hard. After that painful session, she never came back. I, on the other hand, kept going for another six months.

Judgment Day

At the time, I felt triumphant: I’d overcome a judgmental, skinny lady and showed that a big girl can do anything a tiny girl can. Hooray for me! But now I can see that this is a perfect example of how exceptionally judgmental I can be.

Did Little Red do anything to me? No. Did she say something mean to me? No. Did she give me a weird look? No! Yes, this girl showed up with a bit of a cocky attitude, but I had no reason to make her my gym enemy. Because she was so skinny, I assumed she thought I was gross, which made me assume she was a bitch, which, in turn, led me to concoct an entire competition out of thin air.

And I still do this all the time! Way too often, I think, Ugh, that skinny bitch, why is she even here, when I go to a gym. No wonder I assume that everybody I work out with is judging me since I’m sitting in the corner judging everyone in the room.

In the past few months, I’ve really tried to work on my negative self-talk. Now, I need to work on my negative other-people talk. Just this week, I saw a picture of the manager at a gym I’m going to join and thought, She’s so skinny and pretty, she probably won’t get me. What the hell is that?

I need to get over these snap judgments because they feed my self-consciousness. The cycle goes like this: I think bad things about strangers, so I assume they’re thinking bad about me, so I act weird to them, which makes them act weird to me, which proves to me that they were jerks all along, so I go on judging them.

This week, I’ll be going to the gym regularly again, and the term “skinny bitch” is getting erased from my vocabulary. Maybe if I go in with a positive attitude and the idea that every person there is just a decent human trying to get into shape, I won’t end up in a self-conscious spiral. Maybe the impossible will happen: I’ll make friends with the skinny girls and complete one not-on-my-knees push-up.

… don’t hold your breath for the push-up.

Amber Petty is an L.A.-based writer and a regular contributor to Greatist. Follow along as she shares her weight-loss journey in her new bi-monthly column, Slim Chance. Take singing lessons from her via Sing a Different Tune and follow her on Instagram @ambernpetty.

Source https://greatist.com/live/judging-other-people-workout?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=feed_https–greatistcom–

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Slim Chance


Slim Chance
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Weight: 218 pounds

Weight Lost in 2 Weeks: 1 pound

Total Lost: 35 pounds

Any time I go into a gym or a new exercise class, I’m nervous: Will I be able to do the workout? Are people looking at me because I’m fat? Are they looking at me while I’m unable to do the workout? Why am I sweating so much? Can they see that I’m sweating? Seriously, it seems medically impossible that I produce this much sweat. All of that and a litany of other low self-esteem thoughts cross my mind before my workout is done.

I used to think that all of these other judgmental people in the gym were the problem. But that’s not the case.

I Will Beat That Skinny Bitch

About six years ago, I took tough boot camp classes 4-5 times a week. Though I was about 30 pounds lighter than I am today, I was not in great shape and was always one of the biggest girls in the class. But I worked hard and felt happy every time I got through the hour without nearly passing out and praying for death.

After attending this class for about six months, the gym had a big open house, so a bunch of new people showed up to get their butts kicked on a Saturday morning. And one girl immediately became my enemy.

This tiny, beautiful redhead waltzed into class without a care in the world. She tugged at her adorable knee-high socks and perfectly plaited braids as she began her personal warm-up in the middle of the room. To me, her warm-up seemed to serve two purposes: prepare her muscles for exercise and constantly draw attention to how much cuter she was than everyone else. Each hamstring stretch cried out, “Why, yes, I look this good. How do I do it?” She seemed completely at ease. And that infuriated me.

“I will beat you, Little Red,” I vowed. “Even if I have to die during this workout, I will destroy you.”

To be clear, there was no competition. It wasn’t like Flywheel, where everyone kept score, and the winning name came up in lights for everyone to see. There were no points. There was certainly no “winner.” But in my mind, this 105-pound 25-year-old thought she could breeze through this workout, while my 190-pound body would suffer. I wanted to prove that I could do every push-up, battle rope, and jump squat right along with her. Of course, this person never said anything to me and probably didn’t even know I was there. But I was set: I would beat this skinny bitch.

As we began, Little Red seemed confident, but it didn’t last. We did burpees into jumping jacks into high knees then back into burpees. Then came the deadlifts and wall sits and sprints across the floor. And slowly but surely, all of Red’s cocky confidence slipped away. She was sweating. She was having a hard time. And my fat self was gliding through. Okay, maybe not gliding—I was suffering just as much as anyone—but I did it with a smile, thrilled by the fact that I could keep up with the tiny newcomer.

By the end of the class, Red slumped to the floor. Class had clearly been harder than she’d expected, and she was happy to be done. And me? Sure, I was covered in sweat, my face was the color of a cooked lobster, and I had to do the push-ups on my knees. But I was victorious.

Little Red came back the next week, looking like a woman heading into battle—she knew it was going to be hard. After that painful session, she never came back. I, on the other hand, kept going for another six months.

Judgment Day

At the time, I felt triumphant: I’d overcome a judgmental, skinny lady and showed that a big girl can do anything a tiny girl can. Hooray for me! But now I can see that this is a perfect example of how exceptionally judgmental I can be.

Did Little Red do anything to me? No. Did she say something mean to me? No. Did she give me a weird look? No! Yes, this girl showed up with a bit of a cocky attitude, but I had no reason to make her my gym enemy. Because she was so skinny, I assumed she thought I was gross, which made me assume she was a bitch, which, in turn, led me to concoct an entire competition out of thin air.

And I still do this all the time! Way too often, I think, Ugh, that skinny bitch, why is she even here, when I go to a gym. No wonder I assume that everybody I work out with is judging me since I’m sitting in the corner judging everyone in the room.

In the past few months, I’ve really tried to work on my negative self-talk. Now, I need to work on my negative other-people talk. Just this week, I saw a picture of the manager at a gym I’m going to join and thought, She’s so skinny and pretty, she probably won’t get me. What the hell is that?

I need to get over these snap judgments because they feed my self-consciousness. The cycle goes like this: I think bad things about strangers, so I assume they’re thinking bad about me, so I act weird to them, which makes them act weird to me, which proves to me that they were jerks all along, so I go on judging them.

This week, I’ll be going to the gym regularly again, and the term “skinny bitch” is getting erased from my vocabulary. Maybe if I go in with a positive attitude and the idea that every person there is just a decent human trying to get into shape, I won’t end up in a self-conscious spiral. Maybe the impossible will happen: I’ll make friends with the skinny girls and complete one not-on-my-knees push-up.

… don’t hold your breath for the push-up.

Amber Petty is an L.A.-based writer and a regular contributor to Greatist. Follow along as she shares her weight-loss journey in her new bi-monthly column, Slim Chance. Take singing lessons from her via Sing a Different Tune and follow her on Instagram @ambernpetty.

Diabetes and Heart Disease–Overweight and Heart Disease, Show Your Heart Some Love

Source: https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/healthy-moments/episodes/diabetes-heart-disease-overweight-heart-disease

Valentines are in the air this week, but don’t just think with your heart, think about your heart.

Source: https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/healthy-moments/episodes/diabetes-heart-disease-overweight-heart-disease

Valentines are in the air this week, but don’t just think with your heart, think about your heart.

Grandma sings Death Metal

Source https://seniorplanet.org/grandma-sings-death-metal/

Inge Ginsberg became an unlikely rock star when, at the age of 92, she fronted the Tritone Kings, a death metal band, in a European talent contest in 2014, singing her own poetry. She didn’t win, but her spunk and spirit captured worldwide attention. Now 97, the “Death Metal Grandma” and Holocaust survivor is the […]

Source https://seniorplanet.org/grandma-sings-death-metal/

Inge Ginsberg became an unlikely rock star when, at the age of 92, she fronted the Tritone Kings, a death metal band, in a European talent contest in 2014, singing her own poetry. She didn’t win, but her spunk and spirit captured worldwide attention. Now 97, the “Death Metal Grandma” and Holocaust survivor is the […]

How Exercise Improves Memory And Protects Against Alzheimer’s

Source: https://womensbrainhealth.org/think-about-it/how-exercise-improves-memory-and-protects-against-alzheimers

by  Damir Mujezinovic for Inquisitr: For decades, the scientific consensus has been that exercise improves both mental and physical health. Numerous studies over the years have demonstrated that this is the case, but some have also found that exercise plays……

Source: https://womensbrainhealth.org/think-about-it/how-exercise-improves-memory-and-protects-against-alzheimers

by  Damir Mujezinovic for Inquisitr: For decades, the scientific consensus has been that exercise improves both mental and physical health. Numerous studies over the years have demonstrated that this is the case, but some have also found that exercise plays……

Vegan BBQ Chickpea Salad

Source https://runningonrealfood.com/vegan-bbq-chickpea-salad/

This vegan BBQ chickpea salad is the perfect meal for when you want something quick and easy that still delivers on flavour and nutrition. This healthy bowl is made with BBQ chickpeas, lettuce, red onion, green onion, corn, carrot and avocado. BBQ Chickpea Salad Ingredients To make this simple vegan meal, you’ll need: BBQ Sauce. I […]

The post Vegan BBQ Chickpea Salad appeared first on Running on Real Food.

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Source https://runningonrealfood.com/vegan-bbq-chickpea-salad/

This vegan BBQ chickpea salad is the perfect meal for when you want something quick and easy that still delivers on flavour and nutrition. This healthy bowl is made with BBQ chickpeas, lettuce, red onion, green onion, corn, carrot and avocado. BBQ Chickpea Salad Ingredients To make this simple vegan meal, you’ll need: BBQ Sauce. I […]

The post Vegan BBQ Chickpea Salad appeared first on Running on Real Food.

[[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

Edutainment meets brain development…for good and for bad

Source: https://sharpbrains.com/blog/2019/02/06/edutainment-meets-brain-development-for-good-and-for-bad/

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“In 1954, Walt Disney was the first to envision a new form of entertainment that melded traditional fun and education—a form that he dubbed “edutainment.” By the latter part of the 20th century, this form had morphed into educational toys and games, a multi-billion-dollar industry that is projected to capture a full 36 percent of the global toy market share by 2022.

Nowhere is this trend more apparent than in the explosion of digital apps: of the 2.2 million apps available in the Apple Store, roughly 176,000—8.5 percent—are loosely designated as “ educational. ” Their growth continues, with annual increases of 10 percent expected through 2021. Whether called edutainment, educational toys, or the digital learning revolution, this trend shares the impli…

Source: https://sharpbrains.com/blog/2019/02/06/edutainment-meets-brain-development-for-good-and-for-bad/

___

“In 1954, Walt Disney was the first to envision a new form of entertainment that melded traditional fun and education—a form that he dubbed “edutainment.” By the latter part of the 20th century, this form had morphed into educational toys and games, a multi-billion-dollar industry that is projected to capture a full 36 percent of the global toy market share by 2022.

Nowhere is this trend more apparent than in the explosion of digital apps: of the 2.2 million apps available in the Apple Store, roughly 176,000—8.5 percent—are loosely designated as “ educational. ” Their growth continues, with annual increases of 10 percent expected through 2021. Whether called edutainment, educational toys, or the digital learning revolution, this trend shares the impli…