Source http://www.sonima.com/meditation/mindful-living/self-absorbed/
Your phone rings. Up pops the name of your friend from college. You haven’t talked to her in weeks, or maybe months. So why are you hesitant to pick up? It’s likely because you know that this particular person only wants to talk about herself, the issues coming up for her at work, her relationship drama, all while seeking your advice and support without any form of reciprocity or care as to your own well-being.
My fiancé is a super compassionate, deep listener, and as a result I’ve seen a a number of people in her life leap at the opportunity to divulge all the aches and pains of their existence to her, often leaving her drained. These are very well-intentioned individuals, who are nothing but lovely for the most part, but they lack the self-awareness to instigate a give-and-take exchange. Every interaction is about them and their suffering, and thus, the relationship becomes one-sided. Having seen this dynamic take place in her and other relationships, I have been contemplating what one could do and came up with three possible roads to follow.
1) Keep an Open Mind
Yes, the last two dozen times you hung out with this person, they were pretty self-obsessed, but that actually does not mean that this time is going to be the same. When once asked about the very complex Buddhist notion of karma, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche responded quite simply, “Everything is predetermined…until…
Source http://www.sonima.com/meditation/mindful-living/self-absorbed/
Your phone rings. Up pops the name of your friend from college. You haven’t talked to her in weeks, or maybe months. So why are you hesitant to pick up? It’s likely because you know that this particular person only wants to talk about herself, the issues coming up for her at work, her relationship drama, all while seeking your advice and support without any form of reciprocity or care as to your own well-being.
My fiancé is a super compassionate, deep listener, and as a result I’ve seen a a number of people in her life leap at the opportunity to divulge all the aches and pains of their existence to her, often leaving her drained. These are very well-intentioned individuals, who are nothing but lovely for the most part, but they lack the self-awareness to instigate a give-and-take exchange. Every interaction is about them and their suffering, and thus, the relationship becomes one-sided. Having seen this dynamic take place in her and other relationships, I have been contemplating what one could do and came up with three possible roads to follow.
1) Keep an Open Mind
Yes, the last two dozen times you hung out with this person, they were pretty self-obsessed, but that actually does not mean that this time is going to be the same. When once asked about the very complex Buddhist notion of karma, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche responded quite simply, “Everything is predetermined…until…
What Do You Think?
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