Are You Really Listening? 4 Ways to Understand and Connect with People

Source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/3kyQl8ptRCg/

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ~Ralph G. Nichols

My partner and I were in our first few months of a long-distance relationship. This was a new stage for us and it meant altering our communication practices. Instead of sharing meals and museum exhibits, we had weekly emails and Skype chats.

Every week, I would pour my heart into long, detailed emails to him. I would describe everything that I had done and thought over the past few days.

On Skype I would do the same. Excited to tell him about my life, I would recount all of my recent experiences.

On one such Skype call, my partner paused the conversation with a long and frustrated silence.

“What?” I asked.

He said, “You just told me all about you, but you didn’t respond to anything I said.”

His reaction surprised me. Weren’t we taking turns talking about our lives? Wasn’t that how a long-distance call was supposed to go?

Around the same time, I received a letter from a friend who lived across the country. We had been writing to each other for several years. I had recently sent her a letter telling her about my new job a…

Source http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/tinybuddha/~3/3kyQl8ptRCg/

“The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.” ~Ralph G. Nichols

My partner and I were in our first few months of a long-distance relationship. This was a new stage for us and it meant altering our communication practices. Instead of sharing meals and museum exhibits, we had weekly emails and Skype chats.

Every week, I would pour my heart into long, detailed emails to him. I would describe everything that I had done and thought over the past few days.

On Skype I would do the same. Excited to tell him about my life, I would recount all of my recent experiences.

On one such Skype call, my partner paused the conversation with a long and frustrated silence.

“What?” I asked.

He said, “You just told me all about you, but you didn’t respond to anything I said.”

His reaction surprised me. Weren’t we taking turns talking about our lives? Wasn’t that how a long-distance call was supposed to go?

Around the same time, I received a letter from a friend who lived across the country. We had been writing to each other for several years. I had recently sent her a letter telling her about my new job a…

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