My Experience Trying to ‘Hate My Way’ Back to Skinny

Source http://www.niashanks.com/hate-way-back-skinny/

my experience trying to 'hate my way' back to skinnyIf I eat this it’ll help me lose fat, and that will make me like myself more.

If I eat this it’ll cause me to gain fat, and that will make me hate myself more.

I have to do this workout so I can lose fat, fix my flaws, and finally like my body.

For a four-year period that’s how I analyzed everything I ate and drank; I even scrutinized the calories in a stick of gum. My workouts were about one thing: building a better body and fixing my trouble areas, because I didn’t like how I looked. So I’d work out as hard, for as long, as I possibly could. The workouts left me exhausted but this meant, at the time, that I did my best and had a great workout. The more fatigue I accumulated, the better the workout.

Disliking my physical features wasn’t confined to this period (roughly 19-23 years old). Beginning in grade school and going through high school I was made fun of for having a large nose. From “That thing is so ugly!” to “Nia, move, you’re blocking the sun!” the comments flowed from classmates. Then in high school I was also made fun of for having a big butt because, apparently, I had a big butt before big butts …

Source http://www.niashanks.com/hate-way-back-skinny/

my experience trying to 'hate my way' back to skinnyIf I eat this it’ll help me lose fat, and that will make me like myself more.

If I eat this it’ll cause me to gain fat, and that will make me hate myself more.

I have to do this workout so I can lose fat, fix my flaws, and finally like my body.

For a four-year period that’s how I analyzed everything I ate and drank; I even scrutinized the calories in a stick of gum. My workouts were about one thing: building a better body and fixing my trouble areas, because I didn’t like how I looked. So I’d work out as hard, for as long, as I possibly could. The workouts left me exhausted but this meant, at the time, that I did my best and had a great workout. The more fatigue I accumulated, the better the workout.

Disliking my physical features wasn’t confined to this period (roughly 19-23 years old). Beginning in grade school and going through high school I was made fun of for having a large nose. From “That thing is so ugly!” to “Nia, move, you’re blocking the sun!” the comments flowed from classmates. Then in high school I was also made fun of for having a big butt because, apparently, I had a big butt before big butts …

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